JOCKS
A
young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist
says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the
young man wants.
"Well",
he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's
really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's THE night.
We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out.
Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better
give me the 12 pack."
The
young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he
sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks
if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer,
but continues praying for several minutes.
The
girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were
such a religious person." He leans over to her and says,
"You never told me that your father is a pharmacist!"
A
sailor and a marine were in the mens room of their favorite watering
hole. The sailor finishes pissing and starts to walk out the door.
The marine says, "In the marines they teach us to wash our
hands after we piss".
The
sailor shoots back, "In the navy they teach us not to piss
on our hands!"
There
was a fourth grade boy and a fourth grade girl. The fourth grade
boy came by the fourth grade girl's house with a football and
teased the girl saying, "Ha Ha! You can't have a football
cause your a girl."
The
girl goes to her mom crying so her mom buys her a football. The
boy got angry. So the next day he comes by with a boys bike and
teases her saying, "Ha Ha! You can't have a boys bike cause
your a girl!"
So
the girl goes crying to her mom and she gets a boys bike. The
boy gets very mad. So the next day the boy comes by, pulls down
his pants and says, "I have one of these and you can't go
crying to your mom to get one!!!"
She
goes crying to her mom and then the girl comes out pulls up her
dress and says, "My mom said as long as I have one of these
I can get as many of those that I want!"
One
night a man walked into a bar and saw this 12-inch pianist and
thought nothing about it. He ordered a drink and asked the bartender
what the small pianist was. The bartender said, "That will
make your dreams come true by wishing!"
The
man said: "I want 12 billion bucks!" A few minutes passed
and nothing happend. Suddenly 12 billion ducks flew into the room.
The
guy said, "Wait a minute! I said 12 billion bucks, not ducks."
Then the bartender said, "Do you think I asked for a 12-inch
pianist?"
A
five year old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's
response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.
That
evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself
to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is
a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is
a perfect penis.
The
next day the second five year old boy met the first five year
old boy and called him behind a hedge.
The
boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact,
if it were two inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"
This
guy walks into a bar and after only taking two steps in, he realizes
it's a gay bar but says "What the heck, I really want a drink".
When
the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer, "What's
the name of your penis?". The customer says "Look, I'm
just not into that. All I want is a drink". The gay waiter
says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me
the name of your penis."
So
the customer says, "All right, what's the name of your penis?".
The gay waiter says "NIKE ... you know, JUST DO IT".
The customer thinks for a moment and says, "The name of my
penis is "Secret". The waiter says "SECRET?".
The
customer says "Yeah. "Secret" ... strong enough
for a man, but made for a woman!"
If you wish
to submit any good MARRIAGE JOKES, please email me at:
[email protected]
